y husband and my dog both share a wonderful quality: they are overlookers. Well, actually my dog doesn't really notice faults in the first place, but it's still an incredible feeling to walk around all flawed and damaged and imperfect, and receive pure love nonetheless.

It's something though, to notice fault and overlook it. Murshid talks about this in his writings, but it's one of those states I'm aware of and yet struggle to make real. Even though I know pointing out a flaw won't help the situation, I can't let go sometimes of the need to be right. My poor little self is somewhere in there, crying out to be acknowledged and elevated in the state of public correctness.

From the Gayan:
By accusing anyone of his fault,
you only make him firm in it.

The reason I want to get better at this is because I've experienced the love and good feeling that grows when I know I've been wrong, and yet my husband (or others I know who practice this) did not expose me and shame me. I want to return the favor. And also, in the fake it till you make it approach, I feel the less I give weight to criticisms by voicing them, the less they will bother me in the first place. This applies to self-criticism as well.

I've asked my husband how he can be so good at this, and he replied (in my own words, as I'm sure he would express this differently) that small little personal matters, the minor creaks and groans of everyday living, just aren't that big a deal to him within the larger context of one's long life. It's quite true - traffic and lines and annoyances don't really get under his skin. He's got his eye on the prize, the big prize. And that's the one I want to eye as well.