y prayer muscle must still be working, because last week we found and bought a house within three days. There are still a few things to be finalized, but it looks like I'm well on my way to Fairfax living, probably early in October. Of course receiving what I asked for isn't as straightforward as it might seem, and the excitement is tempered by the requisite doubt and fear of dream becoming reality. This move is going to be a major transition in my life, and having just turned twenty-nine the entire situation now represents a new era of adulthood. Whatever happened to just moving in with my boyfriend to some low-commitment city pad? It seems we've skipped a few steps, but I guess we never really were an of-the-mold couple.

It's a funny thing about prayer, to ask and then receive. Because in that transaction I realize I might actually enact some lofty ideal, and it feels forbidden to have a moment of just being that ideal person, the one who lives in Fairfax in a house with her dog and the love of her life. To have become too much, or even just enough, instead of being lacking. Just a moment, because if renunciation isn't the next step the object attained will consume one, or so I've read. But that moment....