hey say people who meditate are less stressed out, but I don't really feel that's the case with me. I'm a chronic worrier by nature, so I feel it would take a hurculean effort far greater than my normal meditation routine to change that situation. Lately, though, I've been catching myself unabashedly thinking about work in the middle of prayers. My fingers push the beads around on auto-pilot while one part of my brain repeats the correct phrase, and another part draws red exclamation marks all over my mental list of people I need to email and details I need to remember.

This has to stop. Not because I know that's not a great way to pray, because that's obvious. But because when I am immersed in prayer, there's a real rest that takes place. A burden is lifted and shared. Someone takes the other handle of the mental laundry basket, and walks in a way that's supportive and doesn't cause me to trip all over myself balancing out the load. When this doesn't happen I'm just spinning my wheels and denying that help. Which is, unfortunately, a habit of mine, but not one that I want to continue. It's nice to have some help sometimes.