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oday after sitting in silence with a still mind, I went through a few old magazines and ripped out anything that attracted me without thinking about it at all. Why are thoughts so poisonous to creativity? As soon as I was done I saw what I had collected was a whole inspiration/mood board that I could see leading into endless original ideas. It feels really good to be creative without thought.
This little exercise is part of an activity some friends and I are doing, to help us see what our subconscious minds are telling us. I have to work a little to squash the impulse to judge and be discerning in what I add to it. That very discernment, when coming from the analytical mind, sets up a hierarchy that some things are better than others; that others' ideas are better than mine, that mine are better than others, that my ideas are shallow and superficial, and on and on.
I want to get off the hierarchy train. I feel myself going through a shedding process, trying to get closer to my purpose in life and how I want to live. It's a new model for me, one where I keep asking what we all have in common instead of focusing on what separates me from you. If I really believe in unity, this is how it has to be. And if I really believe in unity, then creativity is part of the life force itself, as accessible as the air we breathe. Accessible to all of us, no matter how worthy of it we feel.
M
urshid's writings on rhythm have always rung so true to me. Rhythm in life is incredibly important - it keeps me balanced, focused, moving forward in a positive direction. It allows me to take the bumps without rocking too hard.
Yesterday I got all out of whack because I was tired and sore and wanted to lie around in bed lazily before my 8:15 phone call instead of getting up and showering. Big mistake. After the call I was still in my pajamas and got all out of sequence. Instead of following my usual morning routine, which is carefully constructed to build my momentum towards both working (boo) and fulfilling my life's purpose (yay), I wasted pretty much the whole morning.
Finally at around noon I just decided to start all over. I made a fresh cup of tea (caffeine is my not-so-secret weapon) and pretended like it was about 8:30am, without letting judgment of my poor time management creep in. I stretched, cleared some paper from the pile I'm working on, wrote out my to-do list, and got busy. So the day wasn't a total loss.
These lessons in little things are what I cling to for help in gradually creating a life of ecstatic joy. This life is my dream, and learning how to start over from wherever I am, doing what I know works even if I don't feel like it, is how I will get there. Sometimes progress feels like crap, but it's still so worth it to pursue.
I'm thinking about how to start over in other ways too, like creating a whole new career for myself. I know there is something out there for me that I could be wildly successful at and enjoy thoroughly. I'm not quite sure what it is yet, but I'm inching closer every day, in slow and steady rhythm.
O
ne question I love to ask people is what they think about when they're trying to fall asleep. I often find this reveals the heart of what that person truly loves. My husband devises new lesson plans for his kids (and once dreamed of the perfect lesson plan, which he implemented the next day). My mother-in-law redecorates different rooms and houses. I go through my kung fu forms in my head, imagining the application of each move, how I can do it more perfectly.
This one moment before drifting off to the dream realm is where we direct our minds towards comfort and inspiration, to a place where we are mentally at peace and happy. I was touched to read this little snippet in the Chronicle where the food critic Michael Bauer described his discomfort at discussing costly fine dining with the group Conquering Homelessness through Employment in Food Service:
In another class, a woman pulled me aside and asked me to sign her tattered copy of "The San Francisco Chronicle Cookbook." She said she fell asleep each night reading the recipes. It was a heart wrenching image, but she said that reading the recipes gave her hope.
In the moments before sleep we are all free to enter the imaginary realm, to visualize ourselves in our most ideal way. Where does your mind go before falling asleep? Please comment below.
